On love and the girls

CHARLES G. SHAW

■ I believe that few men should marry before thirty and even fewer after forty. I believe that most women should marry before twenty-five. I do not believe that marriage is necessarily the ultimate ideal of a perfect romance.

I believe few people ever fall in love at first sight. I believe that there are many different brands of love, but that nobody can be equally in love with two people simultaneously.

I like girls who know when to be gay, when to be sad, when to refrain from asking questions, when to make love, when not to make love. ... I do not like girls who want to run everything themselves, who cannot refrain from injecting personal comments into general discussions, who terminate all arguments by tears, whose best reason for anything is "because," who are self sufficient.

I am wary of women who tell me that their husbands do not understand them. I am bored by women who would rather argue than eat. I avoid women who give dinner parties and serve nothing stronger than non-alcoholic vermouth. I am charmed by women who laugh at my quips, smile into my eyes, and are always sympathetic, and accommodating.

I believe the telephone has been responsible for the birth (and death) of more love blossoms than any other device of modernity. I would put next the motor car and third the cocktail shaker. I do not believe the physical thrill lasts with the majority of women much longer than with the majority of men. I do not believe the Latin belle to be a jot more amorous than her sister of the midnight sun. I believe that once a man becomes a necessity to a woman, she, in turn, becomes a nuisance to the man.

I know of few women who look their best in a full, glaring light. I cannot stand a high, shrill voice, however lovely its owner may be.

I believe great love is impossible without a goodly share of heartaches. I do not believe a feeling of uncertainty is essential to all love affairs by a long shot. I do not believe the grandest of passions can survive continuous wrangling.

I do not believe the friendship of two women is ever equivalent to the friendship of two men. I believe the average woman to be far more revengeful than the average man. I am convinced that most marriages crash, not on account of external interest, but on account of internal neglect. I regard a jealous lover as one of the most ridiculous (and pathetic) figures on earth.

I believe women to be infinitely better nurses than men, just as they are less complaining patients. On the other hand, I do not believe women to be as efficient shopkeepers, motorists, cowpunchers, or restaurateurs. I believe that what woman has gained in "equal rights" she has lost in feminine charm.

I believe women, on the whole, to be fundamentally no vainer than men, but superficially more fastidious. I have known many charming women with shockingly small sense of honor and am convinced that few women hold ethical views equal to those of men.

I believe most women are more susceptible than men to the romantic subtleties of smell, sound, and color, not because of a finer sensitivity, but because of a livelier imagination.

I am convinced that not one in a thousand affairs is without its share of deception. I know of few things half as wonderful as a lovely woman's smile.

I believe woman's knowledge of emotional appeal to be infinitely greater than man's. I do not believe a perfectly mated couple marry once in a blue moon.

I believe the romances of youth cut no deeper than those of later life. I do not believe more than one person in a hundred marries for the reasons most often advanced. I cannot stand women who scratch or men who are forever boasting of their amatory prowess. I regret that romance's finale is rarely as gay as its overture. I believe life without women would be a pretty dreary business.