Notes on the Tender Passion

Being a Few Philosophic Footnotes on the Most Obscure of All Human Emotions

CHARLES G. SHAW

§1

FOR a complete conquest of woman no one-and-infallible formula in the entire history of love has as yet been devised. Which is not at all strange when we consider that no two women, in matters amorous, have ever held similar opinions, behaved in the least alike, or, in truth, loved a man for precisely the same reasons.

§2

Situations in love are of two types—the delightful and the distressing type. Never analyze either. If distressing, depart. If delightful, remain to the end.

§3

The history of love's defeats is the history of man's ego.

§4

One invariably falls out of love long before one actually realizes it.

§5

The most successful lover is by no means always the most amorous one—though much of course depends upon what one means by successful.

§6

No love affair has ever survived a superabundance of sentimentality in the man or a lack of it in the woman.

§7

In love, one learns only by experience— and even then one learns comparatively little.

§8

He who would be most illogical is he who would be logical in the matter of love.

§9

Jealousy: "the subtle alchemist that in a trice" love's golden metal into lead transmutes.

§10

In order to be a thoroughly successful deceiver in love, one must first of all learn to deceive one's self.

§11

Happiness and love are terms not in the slightest synonymous. Of course it is quite possible for one to be genuinely happy in love —but happiness of this nature is, alas! extremely rare.

§12

The most passionate love affairs are seldom the most harmonious. Which, in no sense, minimizes their splendour.

§13

Love doth make gluttons of us all.

§14

Quite as many romances have been shattered by a single kiss as have been born.

§15

In love, we behold things in a vastly different light. That our values be distorted, however, makes them none the less engaging.

§16

In his last love a man hopes to find the charms of his first love. What he actually finds, most often, are the defects of his intervening loves.

§17

The success of any love affair rests largely upon the absence of well-wishing friends.

§18

Youth corrupts love with a myriad of notions. Yet once we actually realize the true meaning of love, it is usually too late.

§19

When in love, it is difficult to imagine how we ever survived without loving, just as it is more difficult still, when disillusioned in love, to imagine how we shall ever survive again.

§20

The most perfect of love affairs without a single quarrel, would most certainly, sooner or later, grow every bit as tiresome as the most perfect of skies without a single cloud.

§21

A re-heated affair of the heart is like a reheated meal. Gone in both cases is the element of surprise; savourless is the seasoning.

§22

He who is most desperately in love is not infrequently the least effective suitor. On the other hand, he who is most effective as a suitor may not in the least be in love.

§23

That a man and woman might live a happily married life on a desert island in no way proves that they might do the same in a cosmopolitan community. Or vice versa.

§24

Variety in love, it should be well understood, does not necessarily mean variety in lovers.

§25

The fact that one is able to recall each moment of one's romantic affairs in no wise proves a deep and burning passion. All that it really proves is a good memory.

§26

In the theatre of life, love assumes one of two phases: a drama of the deepest dye or the

frothiest of farces. It all depends upon the role in which we are cast.

§27

'Round and 'round spins the terrestrial sphere. Century upon century rolls by. Romance after romance crashes to earth. Yet we are as far as ever from solving the problem of Love.

§28

He who seeks a hasty conquest of a charming woman is indubitably a fool. For once the conquest is achieved, nine-tenths of the zest is eliminated! Far better to delay matters, to lengthen the affair to its utmost, postponing the culmination until the infinite incidentals have been experienced. Yet how seldom will an importunist realize this!—thus proving once again his inherent lack of sense in all things amorous.

§29

Rare is the suitor who is actually aware of his own shortcomings. Almost as rare indeed as he who thoroughly appreciates the merits of a rival.

§30

While there's love, there's usually despair.

§31

It is perfectly possible to attract, to charm and fascinate women without in the least understanding them.

§32

No love is ever greater than the lovers themselves involved.

§33

The death of love is indeed tragic. The real tragedy, however, lies in the fact that it never dies for both parties at the same moment.

§34

Many a romance has been entirely washed away by a single shower of tears.

§35

When thoroughly convinced that the man can cause her unhappiness, a woman is happiest in love.

§36

Truth, most certainly, is an estimable and important quality. But it is illusion that makes the wheels of love go 'round.

§37

The memories of our romances last longer, it is true, though they are seldom as magnificent as our anticipations of fresh romances.

§38

The lover who believes everything is assuredly an idiot—but not half the idiot that he is who believes nothing.

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(Continued, from page 55)

§39

Dormant love is all very beautiful but it must not be dormant too long. Otherwise it may never awaken.

§40

The greatest doubt in the mind of a lover is the doubt of his own capabilities.

§41

In the bouquet of Venus the thorns have a habit of surviving long after the blossoms.

§42

He who would willingly dissect his own affaire de coeur fully deserves to know the exact condition of things.

§43

Though it is the heart that is always wounded in the war of love, comparatively few of the wounds, strangely enough, ever prove fatal.

§44

That a lover's declarations are largely insincere is surely of small wonder when one stops to consider how very few lovers are in the least sincere with themselves.

§45

A man quarrels with an old love for the very reasons that attract him in a new love.

§46

Time: Cupid's truest friend and deadliest enemy.

§47

Fortunate is he who can remember all his amorous joys. Yet more fortunate still is he who can forget his amorous sorrows.

§48

Although love constantly dies, it is still just as popular as ever.

§49

Divorce: the armistice of marriage.

§50

When the melodrama of love is ended, there is no music to play us out. The band has long since left.

§51

A wise man in love takes things as they are. A fool seeks that which he is afraid he may discover.

§52

Disillusion in love is admittedly among the commonest of occurrences. Which is due, nine times out of ten, not to the object of one's affections having changed but to the change in oneself.

§53

The wounds of love heal more slowly than we believe, though rarely as slowly as we pretend.

§54

In any really magnificent hate a touch of love is usually necessary.

§55

Love: life's most exotic and most beautiful disease.

§56

Among man's greatest blunders must be catalogued, well to the too of the lengthy list, that of loving the right woman at the wrong time.

§57

It takes two to make a love affair but one is quite enough to ruin it.

§58

In an affair of the heart nothing is ever quite as sad as that which might have been. With the exception, of course, of that which actually was.

§59

Of all the arts the least understood is the art of making love.

§60

The perfect love affair is one which is born in a flash and which dies as quickly.

§61

On the merry-go-round of love all too often are the brass rings merely brass.

§62

In the business of love so much depends upon a certain sense of humour in the man and a certain lack of it in the woman.

§63

He who continually seeks to fall in love is almost as much of a fool as he who continually seeks to escape from it, once it comes to him.

§64

In reading the book of love we tear out each page as we proceed. When we have finished, the binding alone remains.

§65

It has been said that it is a mistake to repeat an emotion. This is absurd on the face of it. No two emotions are ever the same.

§66

From the bitterest of tragedies love swings to the gayest of comedies. It is all a question of whether our own or another's love is concerned.

§67

That we are so often unable to say the things we feel is certainly one of love's greatest tragedies. Yet not one tenth the tragedy of being unable to feel the things we say.

§68

With the realization of the end of even the most perfect amours there is somewhere, deep down in our sigh, just the least note of relief.