Apchlypse

VANITIES

Droughts!Earthquakes!Economic meltdowns!Californians have grown blasé about living on the edge of Imminent Demise. As mandatory water restrictions take effect, V.F. charts the dark side of the California dream, with a handy guide to the hazards that threaten to change life in the Golden State forever

BRUCE FEIRSTEIN

THE THREAT Earthquake | Drought | Cable à la Carte | Tech Bubble | Kardashians

THE STAKES

WHO'S

MOST

AFFECTED?

HARBINGER

OF

DOOM

HOW DO YOU PREP?

IS THERE A MOVIE IN IT?

IS ANYBODY REALLY LOSING SLEEP

OVER THIS?

UNFORESEEN

UPSIDE

WHAT ULTIMATELY GETS DISRUPTED?

The big one is coming.

Anyone with a roof over their head.

Mysterious shakes in the night.

Order the 33,000serving, four-person, one-year food-storage kit from Costco.

Something involving Liam Neeson and a missing daughter.

No, not really.

The end of highspeed car chases.

Car culture.

No more water in a year.

Anyone who can't afford to shower with bottled water.

"We're from the water patrol, and we'd like to have a few words with you about your lawn."

Install an in-home desalinization plant.

Oscar-nominated documentary by Matt Damon.

Gardeners, pool men, and longshowering teens.

Drug lords go into the illegal carwashing business.

Ag riculture.

The 500-channel universe is over.

Anyone who works for a low-rated cable network.

HBO Now app available on iTunes.

Start a podcast.

See Adam Sandler's four-picture deal with Netflix.

The C.E.O. of the Lifetime network.

Guy Fieri disappears from TV.

Hollywood culture.

None of these companies is worth a billion dollars.

Any start-up described as "the Uber of..."

Uber announces its I.P.O.

Apply for a job at Google.

"Think The Hunger Games meets The Wolf of Wall Street. It's called The Asocial Network"

Silicon Valley real-estate agents.

Non-tech workers can afford to buy homes in San Francisco.

Start-up culture.

They'll be with us forever.

Parents trying to teach their kids that fame should be the result of accomplishment.

The coming Kanye West-Bruce Jenner fashion line.

Send your children to a boarding school in the Northeast.

Heaven help us, please, no.

Only the Kardashians themselves, who fear this can't really go on indefinitely.

None.

American culture.