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HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE CURRENT SEASON OF FRIENDS

Had the series not ended its 10-season run in 2001, what 2012-era social conventions might the gang be

humorously navigating in Season 18?

THE ONE WITH

THE BULK

SOYBEANS

RACHEL and ROSS

meet a pushy neighbor, RACLETTE (guest star EVA LONGORIA),

at the Park Slope Food Coop. Raclette tries to undermine the co-op's board of directors, on which both Ross and Rachel sit, by attempting to save shifts for her friends. "No shift saving!" will become one of Ross's most popular catchphrases.

THE ONE WITH

PANDA BEAR

PHOEBE, the music teacher at Brooklyn Heights' arty and posh Saint Ann's School, leads students in songs from ANIMAL COLLECTIVE'S Merriweather Post Pavilion album for the big non-denominational winter-solstice gathering. Children learn that there is no wrong way to play an instrument.

THE ONE WITH

THE PENDNYM

CHANDLER discovers that, inconceivably, someone has already signed up for TWITTER with the user name "chandlerbing."

A quick Google search reveals that the word is a nickname created by a popular blogger for presidential candidate RICK SANTORUM'S penis. Coincidence? ROSS and JOEY wonder— while Chandler insists he's not gay.

THE ONE WITH

THE POKING

Late one night, JOEY starts sending salacious FACEBOOK messages to ladies. Only problem: he's still logged into CHANDLER'S account, and one of the women he messages is Monica's cousin (guest star MELISSA MCCARTHY). Worse yet: Monica's cousin responds with an adults-only photo.

THE ONE WITH THE HORIZONTAL SOCIAL MOVEMENT

JOEY, thinking O.W.S. stands for "open women singles," heads down to Zuccotti Park. He finds a bed—well, tent—to share with Wesleyan student MARION (guest star MIA WASIKOWSKA) and learns about economic injustice.

"How you doin'?" he asks. "Disenfranchised!" protesters shout back.

THE ONE WITH THE COFFEE BEANS

ALGONQUIN, MONICA and CHANDLER'S

precocious sevenyear-old son, asks why the family patronizes Prospect Perk if the coffee is not fair-trade. The question precipitates a moral crisis in the Geller-Bing family that is finally resolved thanks to a timely playground quip from outrageously non-P.C. Colombian nanny CORAZÓN (guest star SONIA BRAGA).

THE ONE WITH

THE iPADS

MONICA and CHANDLER

accidentally take each other's iPADS to work. Monica, competitive as ever, finishes Chandler's game of ANGRY BIRDS. Meanwhile, Chandler finishes Monica's game of TINY WINGS. All will be confessed, forgiven, and re-downloaded by the episode's end, but not before ROSS makes an O. Henry reference and Joey scoffs, "Aw, I used to trade those to my brother on Halloween for Baby Ruths."

THE ONE WITH THE STYLE SECTION

A New York Times Style section reporter (guest star MEGAN MULLALLY) wants to do a trend piece on ROSS and RACHEL'S carbon-neutral anniversary party. Is it gross to let a Style reporter chronicle your social life? Is it gross not to? The gang debates over Gchat.

THE ONE WITH THE JONATHANS

At an Alain Badiouthemed Saint Ann's fund-raising gala, PHOEBE mistakenly asks JONATHAN LETHEM (recurring guest star Jonathan Lethem) to sign her copy of Freedom. Phoebe then has to referee when Lethem argues with JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER (guest star BRECKIN MEYER) over who can use the incident as the basis for his next novel.

THE ONE WITH THETHEOCRACY

ROSS'S paleontology department is ensnared by politics. "Should we be teaching evolution to our college students?" a MICHELE BACHMANNlike congresswoman (guest star ROSE BYRNE) asks on the steps of the American Museum of Natural History. "Uh, this dinosaur skeleton thinks so," whispers CHANDLER, with trademark acerbity.

JULI WEINER