Inadvertent snapshots of American lives present themselves in all kinds of ways. For instance, the results of our most recent poll, though wide-ranging, on close inspection suggest nothing less than the following: A southern Republican running a little late on his or her way to a Beatles concert is a chilling recipe for disaster. Why? Well, the Beatles are the defunct entertainers Americans would most like to see magically perform (22 percent); southern (53 percent) and Republican (55 percent) households are the ones most likely to contain firearms; and "people driving slowly in the fast lane" is considered by more Americans (33 percent) to be the "most annoying" behavior. So, not a good scenario at all, if you fit that description and are stuck behind that car. And if, say, the situation escalated, and you found yourself unexpectedly incarcerated and your children suddenly homeless, you'd likely (44 percent) be sending them to live with "some nice couple from Iowa" rather than choosing any number of celebrity-couple options. (Even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who have no little experience with adoptions, drew interest from only 6 percent of Americans.) As to whether this whole hypothetical sorry episode had any artistic potential, the answer is apparently "no": most Americans—a whopping 72 percent—don't consider their lives interesting enough to form the basis of a reality-TV show. Is that good news or bad news? You decide—but first, get out of my lane.

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