The COASTER Correspondence

MORE OF THE VERY EXPENSIVE WORDS OF Edwin John Coaster, CONTRIBUTING EDITOR

VANITY FAIR

EDWARD J. MENICHESCHI

VICE PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER

August 12, 2008

Graydon:

As you know. I live my life in pursuit of two major goals:

1. To be the basis for a hunky character in a Candace Bushnell novel

2. To maximize advertising revenues for Vanitt Fair

Pursuant to the latter. I have exciting news.

I have just returned from Ohsoksca '08. the international expo for endangered old media. And I'm psyched to tell you about a new piece of technology that will change the game for us: the fourth screen. baby! Today's advertiser is looking for a multi-platform. 360-degree buy not just in the magazine, but on all three of the targeted consumer's screens: his TV. his computer monitor, and his smartphone's display.

But the buzz at Obsolesca was about the fourth screen: a Wi-Fiand touch-screen-enabled LCD display that's implanted directly into the user's forearm. In 18 months, two years max. 60 percent oft S. consumers aged 35 and under will be walking around with screens in their forearms. It all about the fourth screen, baby!

At Ohsoksca, we tested out the screen implant on some interns, and while the first two ot infected, the third took to it beautifully and is currently watching a Hulu rerun of last night's Colbert on his arm. Think of the implications for us: Streaming red-carpet footage from our Oscar party, delivered right to your arm! Todd and Dee Dee's I lection Night analysis, delivered right to your arm! G.W.'s "No-Fail G.P.S." driving directions delivered in the friendly Jamaican right of George Wayne! From your arm!

I would love to get moving on creating original V.F.-branded content for the fourth screen. To that end, I was thinking that we could use a contributing editor with a lot of time on his hands, like Ed Coaster. How about an "Ed Channel" where he not only IS the content but gets the plant himself and talks about it?

Back at you soon with more details. It's all about the fourth screen. baby!

EDWIN COASTER

8/16/08

Dear Graidon:

Look, I checked :ith mj cardiologist, and he said it's out of the question for me to go off my heparin prescription to get the implant. So it's a no-go. what about asking that Seth knookin? He's used to putting things in his arm.

More to the point, I'm hurt that it was Hitchens that ou asked to get waterboarded, and Ritchens who gets to have his perineum waxed on the company dime. In the nineties you would have given those gigs-that is, if the U.S. had been torturing people and countenancing metrosexualism in the nineties.

I grow bitter, my friend.