The Coaster Correspondence

More of the very expensive words of Edwin John Coaster, contributing editor

EDWIN COASTER 11/1/04 SunRee, precious SunRee, my delicate chrysanthemu.m flower It has beer~ too M~, thoughts turn back to our time together several years back, a moment of ubiimit, I shall alwa~ cheri~h. As you i1l recall, I was .~ta~ing at the Cari~ ie, a treacherous period .:her my third marriage :as di~oivir~ and my gout prevented me from beir~ ambulatory. I pleaded .;ith Graydon to send someone uptown to bandage my legs, and I ihaii never forget the luminous sight of you in my doorwa,. Boh-jah mah-jah, bbyong gah suh o, my lotu~ blossom . . . you simply blew my mind. I recall your tender ministrations, your opalescent i~in, the a. ou salved zuy..'ounds, psychic and phy~ica1. The good news i~, I have business to attend to next week in the cit~. The bad news i~ that my gout has ilared up again, and I -~ha1l require assistance once more. Might you come up to my suite at the Carl,le, Jade princ~.~, and let history repeat itseli? I feverishly await your repi).

VANITY FAIR SUNHEE C. GIINNELL BEAUTY AND PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Nov. 3, 2()()4 Heather: See attached note from Ed Coaster! Oh my God, remember this, when we had to take turns bandaging his legs? Remember how he'd let his bathrobe accidentally" fall open in hopes of... you know what? Poor you, I think it was your first week on the job! Anyway. I called him and told him I'm a married woman with a kid, as well as an editor now, and he can piss oft

EDWIN COASTER 11/3/04 Heather, `air Heather, Heather 01. the wjld moor It has been too long. My thoughts turn bach to our time together several ,ears bach, a moment oi sub1imit~ I shall always cherish. As ou will recall, I ..a.~ staying at the Carlyle, a treacherous period when my third marriage as dissolving and my gout prevented me irom being ambulatory. I pleaded with Graydon to send someone uptown to bandage my legs, and I shall never Lorget the luniinous sight o~ ou in my doorwa~. 0, on the heather, to lie together / With both our hearts a-beating! (With apologies to Keats-but you knew that, my brainy beauty.) I recall sour tender ministrations, our opalescent si~in, the way ou salved my wounds, psychic and phjaical. The good is, I have business to attend to next week the city. The bad ne..~ is that in~ gout has ilared up again, and I shall require assistance once more. 1ight ou come up to my suite at the Carl~'1e, my porcelaneous n~mph, and let history repeat itseli? I ieverishl~ a..'ait dour reply. Kisses,

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VANITY FAIR HEATHER FINK ASSOCIATE EDITOR Nov. 4, 2004 FAX TRANSMISSION [this page only] Dear Ed: Nice to hear from you, and I'm sorry about your gout. But that time you mentioned was a lifetime ago-I'm an editor now, not an intern, and I'm getting married in two days. But good luck, and have a great time while you're in N.Y.C.! Sincerely,

VANITY FAIR CHIPS GAnm MANAGING IDITOR 7 November 2004 FAX TRANSMISSION [GC home fax] Graydon: By now you've probably heard that Ed Coaster crashed Heather's wedding-drunk and limping, with unraveled bandages trailing from his legs. According to Heather, he took a wild swing at her husband, David, but missed and passed out, apparently from a gout-related seizure. Heather, bless her heart, is currently at Ed's bedside in the intensive-care unit of the New Milford Hospital in Connecticut and is postponing her honeymoon until he stabilizes. At the very least, we should send her some champagne, but we might want to think about covering the cost of the honeymoon.