One of these days someone will set up a booth outside the Staples Center and hawk maps to the stars' seats. It's not a bad idea. When a team is as dominant as the Los Angeles Lakers have been over the past few years (an early funk this season excepted), even winning championships (three in a row and counting) can get a little tired. And when that happens, when the Shaq-and-Kobe Show starts looking like network television in July, what's a guy up in Section 309 to do? There are more than 1,000 video monitors in the arena and not a remote to be found. The Laker Girls shake their pom-poms only after the whistle blows. And worse yet, beer costs about a quarter a sip. That's when the map would come in handy, facilitating what is for many attendees the real game: celebrity spotting. You can't miss Jack, but there are 1 23 other courtside seats, many of them filled with Hollywood's elite. These go for $ 1,750 per game. They're not the toughest tickets in town, though. Those would be the gold passes that during halftime get just 85 people past the arena's bouncers and into "The Room," a private bar that Mr. Section 309 can only dream about.