Trompe le monde

VANCOUVER, gleaming jewel of British Columbia, must be North America's most perfect city! Begin your sojourn in Cool Canadiana with chauffeured Limojet airport-to-hotel service. Take the Marine Drive scenic route and observe the gorgeousness of Pacific Spirit Park, the Botanical Garden, Kitsilano Beach, and the big, fagulous houses of Kerrisdale. Stay at the queenious Sylvia Hotel, a fabulously disheveled dame (waiting for its Ian Schrager or Andre Balazs redesign) near English Bay. For a stunning Vancouver day, stroll the Robson Street walkabout and take in Club Monaco, the Cactus Club, and Delany's Coffee House (on Denman Street), which is rife with fashionable lesbians. Or explore Stanley Park, a 1,000-acre oasis that makes New York's Central Park look like Cinderella's wicked stepsister. G.W.'s No. 1 Vancouver restaurant is C, with to-die-for seafood prepared by the city's hottest chef, Rob Clark. You will ovulate over the Nova Scotia lobster-tail sashimi. And for a strut on the wild side, break out the Gucci leather and visit the Odyssey, packed with go-go gods and featuring the best D.J.'s in the city.

GEORGE WAYNE