GEORGE WAYNE Q & A

The Izzard king

In 1996, Eddie Izzard burst onto the U.S. comedy scene after conquering the U.K. with his breathless, cerebral stand-up act—not to mention his devastating silhouettes. With two Emmys in his pocket, and a role in the new film Shadow of the Vampire, he pauses here to tell our correspondent about acting with Willem Dafoe, going through customs, and life as a male lesbian (or is it heterosexual transvestite?).

George Wayne:Gustav Von Wangenheim, your character in Shadow of the Vampire, provides much-needed comic relief.

Eddie Izzard: I play a bad actor, and if I do that well, it's kind of worrying.

G.W.What about your relationship with the other actors? Especially Willem Dafoe, who is really something to see in this film.

E.I. When I met him on the set he was in full Nosferatu gear, looking really spooky. And I thought,

Shit, he's doing that full-Method New York stuff. And then he turned around and said, "Hello, Eddie," with a cheery expression. And John Malkovich was very John Malkovich. It was quite weird being up a mountain in Luxembourg with those two, sitting in a tent. It was quite a spooky film to shoot.

G.W.You obviously must get teased a lot about your last name.

E.I. No one actually teased me about it, except at school, and I'd always hit them.

It's generally fine, except everyone thinks I'm from outer space.

G.W.Maybe not from outer space, but you are an eccentric Englishman who tends to favor wearing womens clothes.

E.I. It's been written down to eccentricity, but actually I'm just a transvestite, an ordinary, boring transvestite.

G.W.A boring transvestite. Talk about incongruous. You've defined yourself as a male lesbian who just happens to be heterosexual.

E.I. I'm a male lesbian or a heterosexual transvestite.

G.W.When did you realize you liked wearing womens clothes?

E.I. When I was four. A kid down the road would wear his sister's clothes, and I remember thinking I would be up for that.

G.W.Have you ever thought about designing your own tranny wardrobe?

E.I. No, I would be crap at that. I think it's best to let other people design it.

G.W.A transvestite who just happens to be very butch. You are not a femme tranny at all.

E.I. I'm a cross between a butch and a femme lesbian. G.W.You perform all over the world. Have you ever trolled the streets of New York in drag?

E.I. I go through customs and immigration wearing a skirt suit and knee boots. They'll check the computers and see that I'm a comedian. They always let me in. G.W.What's the difference between the Eddie Izzard onstage and the Eddie Izzard at his Notting Hill home in his negligee? E.I. Onstage it's a heightened version of me. I am kinda quieter and more boring offstage. I talk a lot of crap onstage; offstage I don't talk so much crap.

G.W.Have you ever had an audience with the Queen?

E.I. No, I don't dig the monarchy. It's an antiquated idea. These people have a ton of cash, and they go around opening things. They are like locksmiths.

G.W.Are you currently with a significant other?

E.I. Yes, I have a significant other, but I never talk about her much. I happen to be straight, and there is a girlfriend.

G.W.But you've also said you would consider having a sex-change operation. E.I. Yes, then I would be just a lesbian. Does that make sense? I am a male lesbian—I have a bloke's body, but I'd be quite happy to be a woman who fancies other women. G.W.Have you tried having sex with men?

E.I. I've mentally tried to think, Are there any blokes here that I am attracted to? And there are some blokes that I look at and think they are good-looking, but I'm not attracted to them. I don't want to have sex with them.

G.W.What is your favorite part of the female anatomy?

E.I. Breasts. I'm definitely a breast transvestite.