Planetarium

VIRGO August 23—September 22

Just as you're about to bite into a nice, juicy slab of meat, Jiminy Cricket shows up to point out to you the connection between your eating habits and the circulation in your lower legs. That's because Saturn's still retrograde in your 6th house. Despite the thousand and one rash-producing anxieties you have about health—not to mention the fact that you're so bored with work it would take a diet pill to get you going—somehow you carry on doing exactly what you want to do. The current conjunction of Venus and Jupiter in Virgo is what is making you able to scoff at everything from jury duty to natural law.

LIBRA September 23—October 23

Considering the estrangements and head trips your family has put you through, it's a wonder you can still paint on that smile and show up at reunions and barbecues looking as fresh as if you'd just been pressed by Ralph Lauren himself. Issues of children notwithstanding, this is a rare moment of grace, because when Venus and Jupiter meet in your 12th house at the end of August, even your bitchiest critics will take pity on you. If you want to get metaphysical, you might say that a spirit you once thought had abandoned you (only a Libra could piss off a guardian angel) is still watching over you.

SCORPIO October 24—November 21

Dividing yourself between career and home lately? That's normal when the sun passes through the 10th house and opposes Saturn in the 4th. A domestic side of you has poked through the soil. Like a thirsty tomato plant, it's got to be watered constantly, so don't be resentful about the kitchen that needs endless work or a child who yammers for attention. If you didn't want personal fulfillment, you could spend the rest of your life at the office. But you wouldn't like that either. So rejoice in the merriment of friends and in the fact that career has paid off enough for you to have the luxury of moaning about these things.

S AG ITT A RIU S November 22-December 21

We know you are the most broad-minded, truth-seeking humanitarian ever to break bread with a member of a minority group. But as Mars transits Gemini (your 7th house of confrontations) through September 11, passing over the moon's node as it goes, you can expect a few heated debates with irrational people over racial and cultural issues. Just be prepared to defend your position, raise your consciousness, and rise above it all. At some point the wisest course may be simply to grab your coat, get your hat, leave your worries on the doorstep, and direct your feet straight to the beach.

CAPRICORN December 22—January 19

We'll all have changes to deal with this fall, what with the upcoming election and the fact that Uranus and Neptune are going forward in Capricorn at the end of September. For you, though, the transition will be a thousand times more powerful. Freedom is not something that comes easily to your sign, since you've been taught to take only one coffee break every twenty-eight years, and even then you've had to make it quick. You're now experiencing that nervous excitement that precedes a huge turning point in life. You're about to throw off the effects of your toilet training at last and seek the thrill of liberation.

AQUARIUS ⅛⅛ January 20—February 18

If only a crystal on your forehead and some rose-petal juice could send Saturn speeding the hell out of your sign and rid you of that stupid sword hanging over your head. But this is not the time for quick fixes; it's a time for patience. With all your boo-boos will come wisdom, even if that means allowing your imperfections and—God forbid—a little of the gray to show. If people are a strain on you, it's as bad or worse for them. As Venus and Jupiter pass through your 8th house, be at peace knowing that when you give up a little control a good oldfashioned orgasm is still possible, at least once in a while.

PISCES February 19—March 20

Worry, confusion, and chaos are part of the natural order of things. There's the ozone layer, urban crime, not to mention all the guilt for transgressions committed in previous lives. And when Uranus and Neptune move forward in late September, there will be more turmoil to moan about than usual. One thing is certain, though. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction taking place in your 7th house may be just a momentary delight, but it's still quite a rare treat to have someone to cook you a fabulous meal, wash the dishes, and serenade you. Don't you think it's asking a lot to expect to have love and peace of mind?

ARIES ^ March 21—April 19

You like to think big, live big, paint the side of your bam with broad strokes and let the peasants come in afterward to wash the brushes. With the ruler of your 10th house retrograde until the end of September, you're probably excited about bluffing your way through uncharted waters, even if you don't have the foggiest notion of where you're going. Thanks to Pluto in your 8th house, you're secretly wrestling these days over what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. It may seem wimpy, but an improved working environment can eliminate a lot of the upset. Solution: find some peons to dominate.

TAURUS April 20-May 20

The fixed cross of the full moon on August 13 and the new moon in Virgo on the 27th mean pressure in your daily routine and joy from your kids—if you've got kids. The grown-ups in your life have been hassling you for months; it's young people who really understand you. Between trying to keep your head high and satisfying unsatisfiable partners, things have gotten sticky. Some Tauruses are even making love with their bosses, and that's messy. While you can't escape the tensions, no sweat. You're right up there with Pisces and Libra when it comes to being able to defy or deny reality.

GEMINI May 21—June 21

Mars transits Gemini until September 11, so even as Venus and Jupiter pass through your 4th house and personal fulfillment is yours, you are highly energized (mad at the world). You're itchy, furious, bitchy, curious. You should be basking in the warmth of a beautiful place surrounded by beautiful things, but if you're sitting there smoking pack after pack of unfiltered cigarettes and tearing napkins to shreds and punching madly at your touch-tone telephone, what good are beautiful surroundings? Inside you have to know that everything's all right, even as you go right on thrashing in the throes of nervous-wreckhood.

CANCER June 22-July 22

Analysts could get rich this month on their Cancerian patients. If you allow it, the tiny goblins that live inside the brains of even the most decent, God-fearing folk will surely stomp on your mind. Mars's transiting your 12th house could spook you into worrying about who's doing what behind your back or what self-destructive moves you're making. Though you're having another one of your mini-breakdowns, you're never too freaked out to enjoy a nice waffle. At least one sweetheart will tell you not to worry, but in your current state of mind that could start you trying to figure out whom that sweetheart is working for.

LEO July 23—August 22

You've got to be wondering what it's all about when, at the full moon on August 13, and even just before and after, you have to deal with squares from Pluto and oppositions from Saturn. But if you want something bad enough, sometimes you have to sweat your buns off to get it. When people begin to reveal their real selves to you, it's natural to scream and run away. Is it more grown-up to stay there and work things out? Or is that just a form of masochism? Why bother to beat your head against a wall if you're not going to be appreciated? Great temporary solution to the dilemma: buy yourself something expensive.

Michael Lutin