Those Lovely Latins

How to Preserve Our Increasingly Important Entente Cordiale with South America

MELVILLE W. GRATZ

Ex-Minister to Palquita

THAT the United States is not making the most of its opportunities in South America is a fact I have so often impressed upon after-dinner audiences, that it would seem to require no further elaboration. The trade balances of other nations and the discrimination in favor of English and German goods are phases of the situation which I have long made painfully evident.

I am pleased to note that recent events indicate that we, as a nation, are at last beginning to realize not only the situation as it exists, but also the reasons for its existence.

South America to-day plays a role of enormous importance in world politics. The map of Europe is in the disjointed state of a picture-puzzle just after some one has bumped into the table. Some of the pieces are missing; Germany and Austria are not what they used to be, Montenegro has disappeared entirely. But South America looms forth in most imposing fashion. How then can we best capitalize our opportunities?

The answer, in a word, is by courtesy. I have mentioned recent events which show our appreciation of this fact. To be concrete, I refer to the celebration wThich took place a few weeks ago in our own fair city of New York in honor of Estabenito, "the Eagle of Palquita", that glorious patriot whose name today wakes a brotherly thrill in the breasts of thousands of red-blooded Americans! Estabenito! To think that prior to the presentation to our city of the magnificent oil-painting of this fiery leader his name was practically unknown! And now!—well, as we all know, Estabenito is a household word. Palquita has been put on the map.

The Example of Bolivar

WHAT has been done with Palquita can be done elsewhere. What of Guadalatina, the dauntless little mountain fastness of which Longfellow wrote so feelingly—

Where 'gainst the power of priest and Pope, Staunch Guadalatina guards the slope!

What of Peramba and Coppoquisto? Little known names, they—but think of Palquita and Estabenito!

In a speech before the Merchants' Association of New York, I recently had the pleasure of detailing just how this important and farreaching change in regard to Palquita had been brought about. I think I may say with both modesty and truth that I received an ovation. Randolph D. Babbitt, President of the Association (whose guest I was), stated publicly that it was the most important address in its effect on business conditions of all those delivered before their organization. In view of its bearing on future occasions, which I am in a position to know may arise at any moment, I feel that I can do no better service to my country than to mention a few salient features of the ceremonies in which I was a close participant. Certain important phases, I must, of course, pass over for reasons of state. Without wishing to reflect in any way on Secretary Hughes, I will say frankly that I differ with him on several points. However, on those I am silent.

News of the intention of the Government of Palquita to present the City of New York with a portrait of General Estabenito first came to me from the artist, Wallace Biddeford, who, as you doubtless know, is a son-in-law of James K. Toney, the President of the Quissente Development Company, which has large mining interests in Palquita. Biddeford had for some time been working on his commission, a masterpiece of equestrian portraiture, and was at the same time working on the Palquitan administration, through his father-in-law, in order to get his picture accepted, or, to be-more exact, paid for. It had been formally accepted in the previous year, but the actual funds for its purchase were unfortunately diverted by the September revolution. At last the clouds of warfare rolled away, and Biddeford strode into my office, his face alight with enthusiasm.

. "My picture has been purchased!" he announced—"five thousand pesetas"!

With a gesture of pardonable triumph he showed me the check. It was not as large in dollars, but had the advantage of being signed by the Quissente Development Company.

To Biddeford's request that I act as Chairman of the Committee on Arrangements for the presentation of the portrait to the City of New York, I could but accede. My qualifications were undeniable, and my time, since my retirement from the diplomatic service at the close of the late administration, is entirely my own.

"Biddeford", I said, "I cannot say no."

I will omit, as unessential, an account of the hours, days and weeks of preparation which devolved upon me in my responsible position, the organization of my central committee, the appointment of numerous sub-committees on Reception, Military Escort, Music, Portrait Hanging, Decoratioiis, -Invitation, Motor Transport, Police Arrangements, Banquet, and Ladies' Aid—of all of which I was of course a member, ex-officio.

Perhaps my most arduous duties were those in connection with our city government. Four separate meetings were necessary before I was able to convince the New York Board of Aldermen that there was such a country as Palquita.

Two more were required to establish the identity of Estabenito. But at last the seemingly impossible was accomplished and the Aldermen had promised to hang the portrait in the Criminal Courts Building. Throughout it all I carefully preserved "the voice with a smile" which has carried me so far in the diplomatic service. Courtesy was my watchword, first, last and all the time.

A Perfect Day

HOW magnificently I was repaid you shall see. How ardently I prayed for fair weather you cannot imagine. Working in a cold sweat at 4 A. M. of the great day I realized with horror that I had forgotten to appoint a committee on weather insurance! Suppose it should rain. The decorations in Fosburg Park, Brooklyn (the only park available on that day), the dances of the public schoolchildren, the parade of Boy Scouts—all would be ruined, and I with them. But my fears were groundless. The sun rose in a cloudless sky. It was one end, at least, of a perfect day.

By nine o'clock my military aides, ex-officers of the Home Guard of Pelham (my old regiment), in full dress uniform, had assembled in my office, at ten they were at the ferry station to meet the Palquitan delegation who were headed by their minister-on-special-mission, Senor Juan y Castenza, secretary-of-finance.

At eleven came the formal reception in the state suite of the Hotel Gridley in New York, which was beautifully decorated with the flags of the two nations. This meeting was easily dominated by James K. Toney, whose forceful personality—he worked his way from muleboy at the Quissente mines to his present position as President—was aided by his knowledge of Spanish. I could have put him in his place, but as his company wi^s; to use a vulgar expression, "paying the freight", it seemed more politic to hover in the background.

I hovered.

This, as it turned out, was fortunate, for I was needed in a hundred places at once. The supply of badges, designed by the Ladies' Aid, gave out and it was necessary to extemporize more; the Palquitan flag fell down; many other important details had to be attended to.

The Anthems of Yesteryear

THE sight as we came down the steps of the Hotel Gridley was an imposing one, with the Home Guard standing rigidly at attention, the sidewalks and windows thronged with spectators. In the matter of crowds New York always does her duty!.

Here occurred one of the few contretemps of the day. The service-band from Fort Tobey struck up the Palquitan National Anthem. To my horror I saw the sallow features of Senor Castenza contort with rage, while his military aide, Major Lopez, half drew his sword.

"It is ze old anzem", he hissed—"Zis is verry un-fortunate."

You see, the music publishers, unable to keep up with South American politics, had given me the song of the very faction my guests had been fighting. It was a dreadful moment.

In a flash I dashed to the bandmaster's side and switched the tune to "Onward Christian Soldiers", to which we swung into Fifth Avenue in gloomy and .depressed silence. Never, I think, has the United States been so near war with Palquita.

Happily the entente cordiale was restored at the Criminal Courts Building, where, in the imposing room designated to receive the portrait (Part II of General Sessions), we were met by the Mayor's Committee. The proceedings here were necessarily brief, but dignified. In the unavoidable absence of His Honor the Mayor, the picture was formally received by Alderman Toohey in a short speech in which he strikingly remarked that the world's troubles, occurring so often near the equator, might be said to be largely stomachic. "The Monroe Doctrine", he said, "is the flannel-band of international politics." Senor Castenza replied feelingly, in Spanish, after which the portrait was unveiled by dainty Miss Carmela Quinn, a great-grand-daughter of the great Estabenito—by his third wife.

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The afternoon was given over to songs and dances in Fosburg Park, a visit to Grant's Tomb and a trip to the Museum of Natural History.

But the grand climax to this splendid day was the evening banquet at the Hotel Zapata, the favourite resort of Spanish-Americans.

At the center of the dais sat Mr. Toney, whom, for state reasons, I had asked to preside, on his right Senor Castenza and on his left Senator Gooch of Minnesota, that peerless orator whom I had secured as speaker of the evening. My valiant committee on Police Arrangements had precluded any possibility of interruption by seating Assistant Police Commissioner Riddle at the table of honour.

After several preliminary toasts and speeches, we at last reached Senator Gooch. Words, other than his own, fail to suggest the majesty of that white-haired man, his golden eloquence and his dramatic fire. His speech is immortalized in the Congressional Record.

"Gentlemen", he said solemnly, "those of us who know our South American history—and who does not?—can but be struck by the striking, I might almost say, overpowering resemblance of that great Palquitan patriot, Miguel Hoyo Estabenito (great applause), to two of our own mighty heroes, Washington and Lincoln! (Tremendous applause) Washington he resembled as a general ! Sitting as you saw him to-day on his horse over Judge Mulqueen's bench in the Criminal Courts Building" —here he bowed gracefully to Judge

Mulqueen, who half-rose in acknowledgment—"sitting as you saw him today, did he not recall the great Father of our own Country at the Battle of White Plains? As he was, so was Estabenito, the Eagle of the Andes, the Father of HIS country.

"Lincoln, we know, came of simple people. Estabenito's were simpler. (Applause) Lincoln began life as a poor boy. Estabenito was even poorer ! (Great applaus'e) Lincoln at one stroke of his pen freed the unrepresented thousands of our people who were slaves. Estabenito, at the memorable battle of Parquilla, freed his entire people—all of whom were slaves. (Tremendous applause and cheering)

"And so, gentlemen, I say that it is no accident which brings our two great governments together on this auspicious occasion. A Hand mightier than ours has willed that this be so, an authority greater than ours has made us Bloodbrothers, and for that Brother-hood we will fight, if necessary. I DEFY any European Power to come between our friendship!!"

The banquet broke up in a pandemonium of enthusiasm.

It was most fortunate that the cables announcing the fall of the Palquitan government reached us too late for translation. I mentioned this, several days later, to Mr. Toney, whose features relaxed into one of his rare grins.

"Oh, yes!" he said. "I knew it all the time. Of course I'm quite thick with the other crowd, too."

Proving that, in diplomatic circles, it is "the voice with the smile" that wins.